| So, it has begun. |
[Nov. 10th, 2010|07:08 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | post a's | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | my bed :) | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Adored - Miranda Cosgrove (judge me, I dare you) | ] |
I'm currently lying on my bed, and contemplating my future. I had my first 2 papers today and honestly, it hasn't hit me yet. Maybe the fun I will have after A's is making me feel... I don't know, calm? I'm a bit scared though, like why isn't the nerves getting to me? Oh well, 1 subject down, 4 more to go. 2 papers down, 10 more to go. But I rlly wanna thank God for spreading out all my papers. I see people who have 2, 3 papers in a day. And I'm fortunate enough to have 10 papers evenly spread out. 3 papers a week for 3 weeks for 1 mcq paper on another week. That's rlly the best anyone could ask for.
Daddy said he would sponsor whatever trips I want to take with whoever. I can't help but feel bad because I'm eating up his moneyyy :( he's encouraging me to go find a job but we all know I'm probaby too lazy to anyway. However, we're all rlly excited that imma go back to playing golf again! I need to stop being so damn fair and get a tan. I feel so unfit and flobby all over it's disgusting.
I rlly miss having a life, and I can't wait for the last paper on 29th and then Friendlets sans Victoria are gonna head over to Elaina's crib for Sean's birthday party :) can't wait can't wait! And maybe have a sleepover at mine after that!!! Omg, post A's seem so much more exciting than walking to the study table, plonking my ass down and start on boring ass vectors.
So sorry for ranting, its rlly just one big blob of words. Friends, can't wait to have fun with ya'll after A's ♥
xx |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 25th, 2010|02:54 am] |
I feel so worried for my future, every time I think of its bleakness, I just want to run away from this hell.
Run. Just leave.
I don't see how A levels have anything to do with what i want to do in the future.
I hate myself for thinking about you. Hate it.
You were perfect, my perfection.
I just hate myself for thinking of better ways to hurt you.
I think i might be manic-depressive.
My emotions run wild, my hands shake. Is my depression back?
She stares out the window,
bright city lights,
Stone cold Heart.
Tear escapes, hands tremble.
I don't remember myself like this.
I don't want to.
Sometimes i question myself,
What would life be like if we were okay.
What would life be like if we were still one clique.
What would life be like if.
If.
I miss my past,
I hate my present.
I doubt my future.
Somehow i am not able to put my words in a logical flow of words. I really need someone right now.
Will it be you?
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| It's been a while |
[Oct. 15th, 2010|04:00 am] |
I haven't updated in a long while cause I haven't seen a need to, this few months. There's nothing interesting happening in my life. But on the bright/gloomy side, school's out (scream and shout). Since durgz has written such a heart warming dedication post to 2AD1, well, we'll see how it goes.
2AD1 is not my class. You guys are my family. We've come a long way from being a clique as one class and branched out. But that's what makes us special. Each branch represents a new fruit, new flowers. And over the span of 2 years, we've bloomed and enabled each other to transform into something beautiful. Something magical. Something wonderful. Despite having like 3 drama mamas in our class. I'm happy/relieved to say that nothing BIG happened. I'm a person who hates over-the-top shit. So AD1 was my comfort, my place of shelter. It's with you guys that I feel comfortable. like what durgga said, we started off with extreme awkwardness. That we could 'hear the fan spin', it's the same now, isn't it? We can sit in each other's company without a sound. But it's the togetherness we embrace. This last few weeks I haven't been coming to school. But the days I come I choose the days we spend the most time together. And yesterday I had to choose between baccalaureate or dinner at timbre. I chose dinner because I didn't want to share my class with other people. People come and go, but guys promise me, that we will stand together through thick and thin forever. God has bonded us and brought us together as a class for a reason. And I'm happy to have you guys as friends.
Thank you guys, for making my time in ACJC such a fun/noisyone. Each of you make this family special. And I'll always have a place for each and everyone of you in my heart.
As Beatrice/ Lilo says, 'Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind.' Guys as we journey together to the start and end of A's. Remember we are not alone. We can do this guy, we will own the devil of A's.
And most importantly, we'll do it together. |
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